Archive for the Hair School Category

I’m baaaaaaa-aaaaaaaack!

Posted in Hair School on July 13, 2010 by hairbykatierose

That’s right.  In case you didn’t notice, I’ve returned from my (entirely unintentional) blogging hiatus.  Did you miss me?  I can’t believe I finished hair school nearly three months ago and haven’t written since. What’s even more unbelievable is the fact that my viewing stats have been pretty good despite this, all thanks to Annie Lennox.  I guess a lot of people Google her.  Thanks Annie.  And thanks for that killer cover of Under Pressure a while back.

This is the part where I should probably catch you up on the last few weeks of school, the grad show planning and the show itself, but to tell the truth, I don’t give two shits about any of that anymore.  In fact, I’m bored already and I haven’t even started writing about it yet.  What I will say is that I graduated at the top of my class as I’d promised Christopher (Overall Achievement Award. Boo ya!) and I was extremely happy with my grad presentation.  Because I think I live in a musical, it was hard for me to tone down the extravagance and performance aspect.  So I didn’t try to.  The following photo essay is the best I can do to recreate the moment and the captions are the accompanying script that I wrote.  I, of course, played the Ring Mistress, introducing my motley crew of circus freak hair models.  (Photos courtesy of my friend, the darling Fenner Rumble who was so kind as to document the whole day for me!)

Well this is awkward. I expected a fair. But we're in a salon and it's all about hair. But my circus is here now, so without an apology, let's take this freak show and make it TRICHOLOGY!

These sisters with bobs are together forever, resigned to the fact that wives they'll be never. One has purple panels, the other brown ends. They have no choice but to be best of friends.

I found her on Hastings. She was trying to sell me crack. I owed a debt to society, so I paid it back. She has her chestnut updo, now she just needs clothes that fit. But first a hot shower, because she still smells like... garbage.

She has a cut like a pixie and colour like butter. With her zombie-like calm, she handles this nutter...

Yeah... THIS nutter.

She used to tame lions but one went insane, and since the attack she's just not been the same. Her teeth are as sharp as the red in her hair. I keep her employed, though the lion's not there!

His hair is short but his moustache is long. He may be my strong man, but he's not that strong! I scissor-over-combed him, so he's not really needed. But a big top sans strong man? Well, you'd just feel cheated!

So this is my twisted crew. What do you think? Six months without weekends. Lord, I need a drink!

THE END

I also want to thank Alizee Moore for her amazing make-up contribution. This girl is amazingly talented, a total sweetheart and great to work with!

BIG LOVE?

Posted in Hair School with tags on April 7, 2010 by hairbykatierose

I may have had a day to recover, but I’m still reeling from last night’s craigslist attack.

I’m looking for one last model for my school graduation show. I need her to be on the smaller side. When I say smaller side, I do not mean size zero. I do not want her to be small because I hate large people. Or because bigger girls don’t deserve beautiful hair. And I don’t think everything looks better when it’s worn by a woman who’s 5’10 and 65 pounds.  In keeping with my Circus Freak theme, two of my models will be playing the role of conjoined twins. So a.) they need to look…. like twins. and b.) they need to fit into the matching size small dresses that I found at the Salvation Army this week. So I posted my ad, which asked for a “HOT LIL LADY” and included a slightly less detailed disclaimer than the one I opened this posting with.  Almost immediately I received an angry and offensive email…. “BIG GIRLS CAN HAVE GOOD HAIR TOO DUMB BITCH YOU’RE PROBABLY A  _________ OR A  __________ ANYWAY” (I didn’t fill in the blanks because she accused me of being one of two racial minorities and didn’t use the nicest words…. not words I want being associated with my blog.)

I was offended for the following reasons:

1. What? No commas? Not even a period? Poor punctuation disgusts me.

2. I’m not even any of the minorities you accused me of being! I’m a little white hairdresser with a ghetto booty, and if you’d creeped my blog (which was blatantly listed in the ad posting) you would have realised this and got your insults right. 

3. Sizist?? I’m a bonafied chubby chaser. Just look at my wedding photos. 

4. Even if I were sizist, you’re RACIST! Two wrongs don’t make a right. Besides, if we were playing cards, I’m pretty sure your racist card would trump my sizist card. Anyway, I don’t have a sizist card. That’s the whole point.

5. You don’t know me. But, for the record, I am neither dumb nor am I a bitch. And name-calling is rude.

6. I’m a Libra. This makes me diplomatic, well-balanced and harmonious. I don’t ruffle feathers. I don’t rock boats. I try to be kind to everybody. And I’m pretty PC.  So when I do offend or upset someone…. which I think is rare… I get extremely upset!

My heart was pounding and my feelings were hurt. To add insult to injury, she flagged my ad as offensive and Craigslist removed it immediately. I then had to compose a new ad, even removing the “lil” from the title this time around, AND expanding my size disclaimer. This ad was also flagged and removed. Seriously? I’m sorry that you’re overweight and angry and have nothing better to do than trawl craigslist for my ads. But finding models can be difficult. Please don’t sabotage my efforts.

Thanks for listening. I feel much better.

Updates, Updos and Up…. no. That’s all I got.

Posted in Hair School on March 25, 2010 by hairbykatierose

I know it’s been too long since my last blog entry because I got my password wrong on the first attempt.  Damn.  This seemed like an appropriate moment to end the drought, though. I just said good-bye to my wee parentals who were here for a visit that flew by much too swiftly AND I actually had a day off. There are no excuses. Brian’s curled up to my left, that unexplained ringing coming softly from his ears. (He has this THING. I think he might be an alien.) Frank and his renals are at my feet and a glass of red wine is to my right. I’m all about stem-less glasses. They are most definitely Katie-Rose proof. (And Brian-proof for that matter….)

So, it’s about time to update the world on my life in the hair industry thus far, seeing as I graduate in just over a month.  Besides, Mummy will want something new to read when she gets home and starts missing me.

The last few months have been a whirlwind for me. Between school all day on Saturdays and Sundays and Monday nights, and work every weekday, time off hasn’t really been a priority for me.  I only work two to three actual shifts a week, but I bring models in when I’m not working. The more models I bring in, the better I become, and the faster I become and… the sooner I graduate onto the floor as a working stylist.  I absolutely can’t wait.  My grad show for school is five weeks away and my lovely little mind is working away at developing a theme, costumes and memorable hair ideas. I have my concept already but I think I’ll keep it a secret! I’m feeling very pleased as far as my progress is concerned and feel that in the last few weeks I’ve hit a new peak. Instead of ramble on, I’ll show you some photos of what I’ve been up to when I haven’t been blogging…

Georgia Love - BEFORE

See how sad she looks? She obviously needs a hair makeover.

Georgia Love - AFTER

Voila. Madeline meets Amelie meets amazing photographer. (Check out Georgia’s work at www.georgialovesyou.com and you’ll see what I mean. And wish her a Happy Birthday for tomorrow while you’re at at!)

********************************************************************************************************************

The other week at school we had our Creative Up-do test. The bad news is that we had to do it on our Judy heads. The good news is that we all got really good marks because everyone can always dispute a bad mark by playing the ‘creativity’ card. “But messy was totally what I was going for. It’s like, creative, man.” What am I saying? Everyone at school gets really good marks and has since day one. It’s nice to have good grades, but when everyone has them, it kind of devalues any hard work I’ve put in trying to be THE BEST. My attention to detail, my perfect attendance and my annoying quest for perfection (not there yet) hasn’t gotten me that far ahead on paper. At least I know it’s making me a better hairdresser. Anyway, getting a 10/10 at school is like being the cool kid in high school. Everything changes when you get into the real world.

I can’t pretend the tulle was my idea. My good friend Amanda Edge, hairstylist extraordinaire used a piece of brown tulle in my wedding hair (Reception hair, actually. We changed it after the ceremony.) She made me feel like Carrie Bradshaw and is one of the most beautiful and inspiring people I know. I’ll blog more about her another time!

But now, it’s time to pour another glass, snuggle with my boys and see what my new next door neighbours are up to. Oh yeah. Did I tell you my brother (www.dylanpetley.com) and his wife moved from Victoria and got a place right next to ours?

We’re just like Melrose Place… without the murder and backstabbing.

Because I don’t have to be Jewish to blog about Hanukkah

Posted in Hair School on December 13, 2009 by hairbykatierose

Sweet lord, does it feel good to put my feet up.  Know what else feels good?  Working on real people with shoulders, and bodies and interesting conversation.  I do it at the salon during the week of course, but this was our first weekend at school with living, breathing humans in our seats.  For Friends and Family week we’re supposed to bring in four people for free haircuts.  I have two friends coming in tomorrow, and had a friend of a friend booked in for this morning.  I still needed a cut for this afternoon, so earlier in the week, as per usual, I whored myself out on Craigslist.  My ‘john’ came in the form of Meredith Lemon.  Yes, her name is an amalgamation of two popular TV characters.  Because of this, and because Craigslist is always a bit of a gamble, I didn’t know what to expect.  Would she be the sensitive, doctoring type or the neurotic and insecure comedienne? (Or, just a Craigslist Crazy?) Well, not so surprisingly, Meredith Lemon is indeed her own person.  A very lovely and sweet person, with shoulders, a body and interesting conversation.  I took a while to cut her hair and as a result, she lost a bet she had made with her roommate.  Hey roommate, enjoy that beer.  It was all me.

Meredith... Lemon

Yesterday’s reunion with my old friend Yani went splendidly.  (And so did her updo!) What was even more exciting was the unexpected byproduct of said reunion.  Somewhere between a round brush blow dry and a faux bob, I had a hair epiphany.  I am a total trendsetter.  A Hair-Jesus (ironic foreshadowing).   Ladies and gentlemen, I created… The UPJEW.

BUT before I explain this beautiful marriage of classic updo and Hasidic curls AND before I start getting hate mail accusing me of anti-Semitism, I need to say the following:

First of all: HAPPY HANUKKAH. 

'Of all the synagogues in New York, you had to walk into mine'.

 

Secondly: I have suffered from severe Jewlousy since the 1980’s.  It all started in church when I learned that the Jews were God’s chosen people.  I was devastated.  In fact, I’m surprised I didn’t lose my faith much sooner.  Here I was, a stupid little Gentile, dressed head to toe in Please Mum, trying to be such a good girl.  But I didn’t have a fighting chance.  How could I? God had already picked favorites.  My friend Yani figures she had it worse.  She’s a mixed-race Gentile.  She says that trumps Anglo-Saxon Gentile any day.  I say she’s getting God confused with Walt Disney.  My love of all things Jewish grew with me.  As a teen I had long dark, curly hair.  Boys with short, dark curly hair would approach me in the mall, a hopeful glint in their eye, “Oh hi. I was wondering… Are you Jewish?”  And I would reply enthusiastically, “No, I’m not. But I’m a huge fan!” And their faces would fall and they would turn and leave without another word.  In my twenties I watched Sex and the City religiously.  Charlotte converted to Judaism for the man she loved.  Women the world over dreamed of finding their own (hairy) Harry (and being able to afford $500 shoes…)  I did find my own Harry eventually, but he wasn’t Jewish.  And his name wasn’t Harry. The only god Christopher believes in is the manager of Tottenham Hotspur, the North London football club that I have now supported for nearly seven years.  Tottenham is a predominantly Jewish team and always has been.  Coincidence or destiny? You decide.  Either way I still see it as converting for the man I love.  So hopefully all of the above explains my affinity with the Jews.  It is a connection born of envy and admiration, which is why my invention of the Upjew is totally PC.  Just remember, when you see Coco Rocha rocking one at next year’s Fashion week…. You heard about it here first.

Annie Lennox meets Jenna Elfman

Posted in Hair School on December 6, 2009 by hairbykatierose

So much for blogging right after dinner and getting an early night.  After finishing my frozen battered poor person* fish (*see last post) and yam fries (slightly more posh than oven chips) I proceeded to aimlessly lurk facebook.  Then I got face-chatting to my sister-in-law in Australia.  After a nice lil catch-up, I am here.  All yours.

Today at school we learned a scissor-over-comb cut. I turned my mer-trannie into a 9/10 Annie Lennox circa Sweet Dreams. Then we ‘experimented’ with clippers.  Having already ‘experimented’ with clippers on my lovely husband, and quite liking the result, I didn’t waste much time in shaving my mannequin clean.  We all got clipper happy and by lunchtime the school salon looked like the Jarhead cast party. 

My Mannequin Head

 

Annie Lennox and a fan.

 

Since school started a month ago, we’ve had quite a selection of instructors.  I’m starting to feel like a child whose slutty single mom has a different man join them at the breakfast table every morning. Hopefully my daddy issues won’t interfere with my education.  The school feels it’s advantageous to be taught by more than one instructor, and I agree. But I do miss consistency.

Today we had Alissa.  She’s a cute blonde who looks like Jenna Elfman.  She gave me my first 8/10 a couple of weeks ago but redeemed herself today by making some rude jokes. We’re a class full of perverts.  If you removed the scissors and the 30 breasts, we might be mistaken for 15 twelve year olds boys.  We have had five other teachers to date.

1. Brianna is a young mum who likes kitties, doesn’t make rude jokes, and who’s voice could be lent to a cartoon (in a good way).

2. Katie is an adorable, dark little thing with a tattoo on her chest, and a very warm energy about her. I think her name is a real winner!

3. Thea is a redhead with Zooey Deschanel eyes who spent sometime in England.  (Guess she won’t mind if I call her a ginger then?) She’ll sporadically speak in a faux London accent, which at the moment is fairly amusing.  I can see it becoming potentially grating, however. And I positively know it would annoy the shit out of Christopher.  Saying that, she’s the female instructor I’d like most to go for a beer with.

4. James waltzed in, unannounced and filled in for Thea for like, 2 hours one day.  We think he works at John Casablancas Institute?

5. Stewart. Well, he’s the fan favorite, hands down.  I think there’s even women in the class who actually, properly have a lady-boner for him! Bless.  Stewart is tall and slim and wears things like black turtlenecks and slim fitting pants.  He looks like a total hairdresser.  He also looks like somebody that Dr Seuss drew. He has fantastic stories about hair in the 80’s, makes everybody laugh and stresses the importance of hair as an art form.

I’m sure there will be more as the course progresses.  Will I latch onto one, desperately yearning for a steady and constant father figure?  Or will I act out, the only way of communicating my insecurity and inner anger?  Keep reading to find out.

Bobs and boxer shorts, kits and kitty cats…

Posted in Hair School on November 10, 2009 by hairbykatierose

What a ridiculously crazy little week. I was going to blog every single day but 1. I’m not that bloody interesting and 2. I’m a busy (bumbleandbumble) bee! My school is on Saturdays, Sundays and Monday evenings and I’m at the salon every other day of the week.

I just got in from my Monday evening class, have been fed and watered and am wearing a big old T-shirt of Christopher’s and what I thought was a pair of his boxer shorts.  Apparently the boxers belong to my brother.  (I don’t know how I feel about that.)

Tonight I was finally able to bring my kit home (there was a delay due to some student loan malarky).  I labelled everything with my trusty Rain stickers that I got from work. Call it safeguarding my stuff and showing off simultaneously!  Then I took everything out of the black, boring John Casablancas bags, and packed it into my new GORGEOUS Betseyville bag. I truly believe that having a fabulous kit bag will indeed make me a better hairstylist.

I had my first test today. I haven’t been ‘marked’ in over 10 years, and all of a sudden it became nerve wracking. I ended up getting 14/15 and I AM DEVASTATED. I may have become the friend I had in high school who’d cry when she only got 98% on a test because it could have and should have been 100%!!!!!  Oh well. Imagine my mark had Frank and Brian not helped me study the night before.

fandb

Maybe I would have scored 15/15 if my study buddies hadn't been so cuddly...

I did an okay little bob tonight, too.  I got 9/10 and that did make me happy. She’s the first of my four ‘Judy’ heads (That’s what they call them) that I’ve cut, and I’ve named her Carrie. My other heads are called Charlotte, Miranda and Samantha. See what I did there? I’ve also given them beauty marks and sultry eyebrows, so now they are the prettiest heads in the class room, thanks to a Jiffy marker. The hair on the Judy heads is harder to cut than an actual human’s.  The hair is course and stubborn, with the occasional thread thrown in, and the bitches don’t have shoulders. On an up note, you can burn them and they won’t talk back.

meandjudy

I get all the phone numbers when we go out together. Don't know why.

judy

My 'Carrie' Judy.

First day of school…

Posted in Hair School on November 2, 2009 by hairbykatierose

Despite my top ten list of fashion must haves from yesterday, I am still at a loss for what to wear to school today.  I haven’t had a first day of school in over a decade, but thankfully I’m not nervous.  I never disliked school to begin with.  While most angst-ridden teens were listening to Nirvana and Rage Against the Machine and chilling in the smoke-pit thinking of ways to “take the power back”, I was hanging out in the dance studio, singing along to Spice Girls, and seeing how crunchy I could make my hair with copious re-applications of Aussie Sprunch Spray.  We’ve come a long way baby…

Here are my thoughts and reservations today:

1. Will I be the oldest person in my course?

2. Will I like my instructors?

3. Will my kit really be worth the $1,100 they’ve charged me for it?

Of course, all these things are trivial when you have a tiny grey kitten crawling all over you when you wake up in the morning.  We brought home the newest edition to our family yesterday, who I’ll blog about tomorrow. It’s worth checking back just for photos. He’s pretty much the most precious little thing ever. 

Wish me luck! I’m off to run a bath and plug in the flat-iron…